When you see stories like this, you just know that Arkansas or West Virginia are going to feature in the dateline, don’t you?
PINE BLUFF, Ark. – A man who set his wife’s pants on fire because he believed she was having an affair accidentally torched his mobile home and has been charged with arson, police said.
Officers said Leroy Brown, 19, perceiving that his wife had been with another man, set fire to the pair of pants he thought she was wearing at the time of the affair.
Bad, bad Leroy Brown, dumbest man in the whole damn town.
Meanwhile, in another part of the world where indoor plumbing is still considered a newfangled luxury:
BLUEWELL, West Virgina (AP) – A family meal erupted into a gun battle after a father and son clashed over how to cook chicken.
The two men argued Sunday over the best way to prepare skinless chicken for dinner.
(Am I cynical? You bet.)